Nothing earth-shattering this morning, just simple observation: Clutter is costly. Not in terms of money, although that can sometimes be part of it. But in quality of life.
Just as some background, my mom took pride in a clean, organized home. She never allowed anything to pile up for long, whether dishes or pieces of mail or laundry or just general “stuff.” And even though my parents had a lot, there was a place for every single item, and those items were almost always neatly tucked away at the end of each day.
This left time for family… eating dinner together, playing board games, homework, quiet time and reading, etc.
I am also quite sure my mother never felt shame in calling a plumber or electrician for an emergency repair, nor did she have to run some crazy gauntlet to tidy up before a gathering. The house was always presentable and always in a state of readiness.
Me? As a kid I kind of rebelled against this. I ignored my messes. I sidestepped the piles I created until my mom yelled or threatened or cajoled.
It was a terrible habit I carried into adulthood.
For a time, I was able to reform myself. This was back when my daughter was in high school and before my four grandsons came along. There was a brief period after my daughter and I moved into a small apartment in Oak Park where I did the chores religiously every weekend — laundry and cleaning and organizing. It was my Sunday routine.
My mother recognized this just before she died. She and my dad came down to celebrate my daughter’s birthday. When they arrived, they commented on how lovely the apartment courtyard looked with its blooming lilac trees.
Before they left, my mom glanced back around at the apartment and told me I was doing a great job. It was an uncharacteristic compliment.
A week later, she was gone.
Unfortunately, I’ve slipped back into my bad old habits. Mostly out of frustration. I am so overwhelmed right now with six of us living in my small condo. It is nearly impossible to get on top of any mess. It’s not enough to do weekly chores. Daily, and sometimes hourly effort is required, and it’s physically and emotionally exhausting. So I’ve returned to just sidestepping and ignoring piles again.
This takes its toll in terms of quality of life and family time. My eldest grandson, for example, loves board games. But I often hear myself saying things like “I can’t play right now but maybe later,” because there is always some household task in front of me.
Months and years can slip by like that if you let it. It’s not fair to him or to his brothers.
So, I’m working on a way to overcome our current predicament and help get us to a point where only regular maintenance is required for our living space.
I have no idea how I’m going to accomplish this yet, but it has to start somewhere, so I’m tackling it this weekend. I’m not trying to do everything all at once but will be happy if I can just get a couple of things accomplished — a corner decluttered, a box of donations to put in my car, a few shelves cleaned and organized…